Ooo no no no not the vista...

                So I am back from Camp GLOW! (GLOW = girls leading our world).  I am exhausted from camp, but it was so much fun and one of the most rewarding things I have done so far in country.  Also it was extremely well organized with little down time (aka little time for them to get into trouble).  We had four sessions a day (HIV, teamwork, communication, IGA’s, etc…I taught nutrition!)  We also did camp activities like obstacle courses, capture the flag, etc… It was super fun!  Each PCV counselor had an Ugandan co-counselor with a group of around 10 girls.  My group was the gorillas!  The girls were quiet and shy at first, but by the end of camp, they came out of their shell.  They were loud and dancing and singing our gorilla or camp song all the time.  I don’t think that I will ever get these camp songs out of my head!  Ooo well I will need them anyway because we have a regional camp in april/may (I’ll probably be around for this one) and then one more national while I am here!   

Some interesting things I noticed during the week:

                Ugandan schools are MEAN and they aren’t even effective.  Rote memorization and silence at lunch is the norm for schools here.  Lunch silence is so they eat quickly and get back to their studies.  This means that in the beginning at least, we ate our meals in complete silence until we made an announcement.  This is not school…you can (and should) talk at meals!  I think the silence at lunch things just furthers the lack of critical/creative thinking.  You are to be seen and not heard until you are old.  Don’t discuss things with your peers; don’t ask questions.  Just memorize what I tell you, never question that it is true or not.  This attitude leads to disempowered silent girls that believe everything they are told by anyone in authority.  This means they believe things such as: eating too many mangoes leads to malaria (mango season is the same as malaria season; correlation does not equal causation), condoms cause cancer (thank you once again religious zealots!), and other nonsense such as this.   A good portion of this camp is dedicated to getting those myths out of their heads.  The other portion is undoing the negative self esteem and silence that schools here encourage.  By the end of the week they were talking talking so I hope it worked at least a little bit.  In America kids are so much louder and outgoing from the beginning…not all of them, but many of them!  At camps here a good portion is dedicated to  getting them to voice opinions and ask questions about things.

                They often asked me why I don’t have children; don’t I like children?!?!  Well actually I do not like children…they are kind of the worst.  Ugandan children aren’t quite so spoiled and snotty though.  Also I do eventually want kids, but I had to explain that I am still young.  To people who are used to people having children and getting married in their early teens, I am old.  Also to people who typically don’t live past 50 years old, I am old as well.  I had to explain: 1. That I don’t want children until I am like 30 or 35.  They found this to be outrageous; I will be too old.  This led to the discussion that in the US life expectation is like 80, not 40.    2: I have a lot of things to do before I am ready to stop being selfish.  I want to travel, go to school more, and get a steady job with money before I have kids.  I hope this got them thinking about what they want to do before having kids.  I can’t travel/go to school, etc…with kids; at least it would be much more difficult with them.  I really hope this got them thinking about what they would be giving up by getting married and having kids soo early! And 3: I only want 2-3 kids, not 8.  Most of these girls are from the deep village, where having only 2 or 3 kids is unheard of.  You start early and keep having children until you aren’t able to anymore.  I had to explain that I would rather give 2 or 3 kids a great life and education than have a ton that I cannot take care of.  Once again I hope this got them thinking a bit. Uganda has the 2^nd highest birth rate in the world…they need to STOP having so many children. We also went through all the mzungu counselors and staff asking if they are married.  Also had to explain why I don’t date Africans, which led to them asking why I am not with any of my ex-boyfriends anymore…akward.  They don’t really understand that sometimes these things just don’t work.  Getting married isn’t the most important goal in my world; my own selfish desires come before a man. That doesn’t really  compute well with them, but I think that somehow understood.

                They eat A LOT and are wonderful dancers.  They informed me that mzungus don’t know how to eat and don’t have rhythm.  I thought I had taken a good amount of food..especially since I HATE UGANDAN FOOD.  I sit down and “Eh Brittan, you have taken little!  You do not know how to eat…none of you do!”  I explained that I prefer to eat little amounts more often throughout the day…why?? To keep my metabolism up…”eh what is metabolism”  so that got a discussion going a bit.   We then go to the talent show.  Most of them did skits/dances or songs.  They have some rhythm. While we are waiting they are playing some music and the girls start dancing.  THEY LOVE TO DANCE.  Then one of them informs me that she knows how mzungus dance and they have no rhythm.  She proceeds to start doing a waltz-like dance with another girl.   I show them how to do a little dip with their leg up and they all find this hilarious.   The talent show was pretty wonderful – most of the skits were hilarious, especially the crocodiles and buffalos.  Crocodiles counselors had the girls be their arms and do various things such as brushing teeth and drinking water and eating a banana (without peeling it).  Buffalos did something where one girl laid down and another girl was sitting on top of her.  So the legs with one girls with the arms and torso of another girl.  They told a little story, which was hilarious and the girls could not stop talking about it after!  It was awesome.  My gorillas sang and did a little dance.  It was great, but I had absolutely nothing to do with it.  Ronah, my co-counselor worked on the whole thing with them!  This was Thursday.  Friday (the last day of camp) was the dance and my god they love to dance.  It worked out well because to get them to do things Friday all we had to say was “well if you don’t have energy I suppose we could just cancel the dance…” and they immediately got up.  They were even taught the cupid’s shuffle, which they LOVE! It was soo great seeing them all let loose and get out of their shells.  You noticed a bit more each day of camp, but Friday they really got to show who they are as individuals.  I don’t think they get to do that often, so I think even for this week it is good!

                They are outrageously clean.  We had to schedule in two bathing times a day AND a day for washing clothes.  In the mornings I had to get them to stop making their beds so they would bathe on schedule.  Compare this to American children…you could not pay them to make their beds or do laundry at camp.  They are perfectly happy being super disgusting all through camp.  You are lucky if you get American children to bathe once a week at camp, let alone twice a day!  They get upset when they aren’t allowed to bathe twice…weird!! I kept thinking of “wet hot American summer” where that kid hasn’t bathed all of camp (soo like 3 months) and they have to force him into the shower.    I spent a good portion of my week encouraging them to be disgusting…most of the time they refused.  If they had to sit on the ground or take their shoes off for running I often got “eh but we will get dirty.”  It also was a chore to get them to not look smart.  They kept wearing skirts and dress shoes.  Every morning I’d say If you want to play football maybe wear trousers and atheletic shoes.  Granted some of them do not have these things, but most of them do.  They are just soo used to having to look presentable and people finding trousers offensive.  They must think the PCV counselors are gross…most of us showered once a day and didn’t wash our clothes at all.

                All in all it was a good week though.  Exhausting, but good.  I enjoyed watching them grow and learn, however quiet they were in the beginning.  I also learned some great camp games/songs that they loved…”get loose (thank you Caitlin!)”  “little sally walker (meish and tara)” and “flea fly (mary!)” were among the popular ones.  I did so many songs/games that I have bruises on my thighs from clapping too much!  I doesn’t hurt..I just bruised them lol.  So now I am directing the regional Camp BUILD in the west, which should happen sometime at the end of april or beginning of may.  We will see how the boys are compared to girls…getting out of my comfort zone YAY. 

My mighty gorillas at the dance!

Cats are evil little idiots – observations from my first three days of kitten motherhood

Good thing cats are cute, especially kittens.  It is also a good thing they are so much more agile than puppies because mine gets thrown around a lot.  So whilst in Uganda I decided to get a kitten for a couple reasons:  1. Ugandans are not what you would call “dog people.” This is problematic in many ways.  It makes your neighbors fear to come near your house.  Now this could be a good thing if you don’t like or trust your neighbors, but if you want to stay amicable with them it could be an issue, especially if your neighbors live in the same compound type deal as you.  Also, many, not all Ugandans are not particularly nice to dogs they meet.  I saw a child throwing rocks at a puppy one day; it took all my strength not to throw rocks at the kid.  Most are not actively mean; dogs just don’t have a lot of use except as security in this country, they fear them.  Cats keep rats and other pests away, which also keeps disease away.  Lastly, in Peace Corps you travel quite a bit and typically with other PCVs.  This makes it difficult to find someone trustworthy to watch your dog in a manner acceptable to you.  2. I don’t think I could leave a dog in this country and it is not cheap to bring one back.  Now that I’ve been around this cat for a bit I can see myself getting attached and considering taking it back.  Even if that happens cats are cheaper to bring back.  Although I’m not sure how she’d adjust from growing up in Africa doing whatever she pleases to living in a small apartment in a city… Anyway she’d be much better off than a dog: she can fend for herself, more Ugandans are willing to take her, and cats don’t continually seek affection from humans in the sort of sick way dogs do.  If people are mean to her, she will stay away from people.  3. Cats are much less high maintenance.  Although this kitten is needy because she wants a lot of affection, she is perfectly fine being home by herself.  She already knows how to use a litter box AND she has already killed something to eat for herself.  If I am gone, Ugandans are willing to feed her and I can leave a bowl of food and water out with the window open and she’s good to go.   4. I want something to keep me company during the week when I’m alone and I’m home often enough.

                So for the above reasons and probably more, I now have a kitten: Luna.  She is very cute; however she obviously knows that she is cute, which is a little annoying.  She frequently flaunts her cuteness and uses it to get her things like milk and a warm lap.  This afternoon she curled up on my shoulder while I was reading; how friggin’ adorable is that! As I type she is laying in my lap, making this more difficult to write, but she is just so damn cute I cannot move her.   She is also easily amused.  Things I have seen her play with thus far: crumpled up piece of paper (thanks for the suggestion Murph), string (stereotypical cat), 2 noodles from my pasta, piece of debris on my couch/chair, the neck pillow from the airplane ride here, her own tail, toilet paper tube, some ants, my feet/hands, etc… I think you get the picture. 

Cats are also selfish jerks, which is why they are lucky they are cute.  For instance before she cuddles with me, which I love, she marches all over my body to ensure the most comfortable spot.  This wouldn’t be so bad except sometimes she uses her claws which doesn’t really hurt, but gives me the feeling she is tenderizing my meat.  I know what she is thinking “If you were smaller I’d eat you, but I cannot so you will do as a heater.”  She also sleeps when I’m awake and runs around like a mad person when I’m sleeping; I suppose she thinks I should adjust to her schedule.  I’m attempting to play with her more often before I make dinner so she is tired out by bed.  She also climbs all over me no matter what I am doing.  Before she fell asleep in probably the most inconvenient spot possible, she climbed up and around my shoulders, onto my computer multiple times, into my hood, and proceeded to settle in my lap to try to eat my scarf.  Lastly, she does not listen at all.  I know she is capable because when she wants to she will.   However, if she wants to ooo say chew on my purse no amount of grabbing her by the neck scruff, or saying no, or pushing her away from it can stop her.  I now hide my purse.   Overall though I’m happy I got her.  She is cuddly, adorable, and amuses me with how easily she is amused.  I’m actually kind of concerned at how much I already like her… All my suspicions about cats are confirmed, but I now see why one would have a cat.  Expect many pictures of my cat doing crazy things; if you send her something, I’ll take a picture of her with it for you! (she likes white cheddar cheese its she said)

Traveling by foot or by taxi...always an adventure here

Hello again loves! I hope all is going well with you in the US. Via facebook I have noticed that the presidential race is well under way; man am I cut off from politics here…I can’t really say I miss it too much (except maybe Stewart/Colbert’s version of it) Anyway I have not been doing all that much.  I work quite a bit; slowly by slowly figuring out what I can do here.  This week we started general trainings, which I came up with!  They are short and sweet little sessions to remind people of policies.  Sometimes people do things here that you would for sure get fired for in America.  For example, a sebo asked for 3 months off work.  When I inquired as to why, I was told that he is tired.  I was like that is not a real reason; in America you would get fired for asking stupid questions.  Apparently it is fairly common for the men to come to the production supervisor, Vincent and request to leave early because they are tried.  Well stop drinking all night and get enough sleep…duh.  The country is only re-affirming my belief that women are the superior gender; the women never pull shit like that.  If they are late/absent it is due to planting their farms to make extra money for their children’s school fees or something equally admirable.  There are plenty of men that just sit in large groups around town all day.  They are drunk by 9am and sit by their bodas all day harassing passer-by.  They especially like to harass mzungu and unfortunately especially mzungu women.  Some of the disgusting things I have had yelled at me: “My size” (my new response for this one is going to be “eh! But sebo you are too small for me”), “I need you” to which I responded “*sigh* ahabwenki (why?)”  and “for your figure” was the drunk response I got.  Real classy dude (do these actually work on anyone?!)  Us women often get “I love yous,”  “marry mes,” “I love your skin color”, “take me back to America,” “have my children” and many more.  It’s getting quite old actually, but can you do?  American men are disgusting too, they just have had more women yell at them about it so its toned down.  Get them drunk and they become just as lame and gross.  Not saying their aren’t good men in this country and the world at large; just that in women are obviously the better gender.   Here many of them work all day, come home to cook and clean, and take care of the children by themselves.  Many of them sit around all day (some work) and come home to sit more, waiting for their woman to serve them.  SICK.  Anyway enough of this rant…I have met some good men in this country.  All of our trainers were great and my supervisor is wonderful.  All the men I work with are super nice to me and not at all disgusting, just lazy sometimes.  They are youths though, so that could be part of it.  Most of the gross men are randos on the street (or boda drivers), who are probably drunk anyway.

This week I did my first health talk at a secondary school with Kendra and Tara.  It went pretty well; we discussed HIV mostly and then a bit of nutrition and hygiene.  It was the first thing any of us have done like this, so we kind of just set it up like a discussion with them.  We asked them what they knew and had them ask us questions as well.  That was the best part: the questions they asked.   My favorite of the day = “I heard that syphilis started when the US dropped the atomic bomb on Japan; is this true?” The three of us just looked at each other for a minute like “wtf mate?” Honestly I had no response to that; where did he even hear that? So after a minute of complete shock, I calmly stated that as far as I know syphilis is very old, dating back to like the middle ages.  The atomic bomb did cause many serious illnesses, but syphilis was not one of them.   Another good one: “Can you tell me the similarities between HIV and gonorrhea?” Again wtf? We just said they are both sexually transmitted, but they are completely different diseases.  OO children you are crazy crazy.  At least they were interested enough to ask questions right! It went pretty well overall; the headmaster was happy with it.  He gave me pen as a thank you; it is actually a pretty nice pen, which is rare in this country. 

                This talk was in Omungari, Kendra’s site, so Tara and I made our way back after and we saw some interesting things on the way.  As always public transport is a treat.  Two bodas passed us with animals on them: one with 2 goats and one with 3 sheeps.  These animals were alive mind you; just strapped on tight with a sebo on the back.  Then we were waiting for the taxi to fill in Ibanda and I started being the conductor.  We have done this before as a group and it usually cracks them up.  The driver drives around while you yell at innocent pedestrians on the street your destination.  I pointed at people screaming “Mbarara Mbarara!” and “Noza nkahi? MBARARA!”  out the window.  Ugandans find this hilarious.  Finally we filled up and we were off.  Filled up = five people and a child in the backseat (intended for 3 people), Tara and I in the passenger seat (me sitting more on the stick shift…o yes it was a manual car) and a guy sitting with the driver in his seat.  And we are off! About halfway through this trip, the driver stops and gets out.  He is talking to some sebo in runyankole so fast Tara and I can’t understand, but my leg is asleep so I get out to stretch.  At this point I walk to the back of the car trying to wake up my leg and I see the sebo walking up with like 15 chickens; alive chickens.  Oo of course that’s why we stopped to fill the trunk with chickens!  Get back in and head out again; I actually forgot about the chickens.  Until we are almost to Mbarara, then all of a sudden the chickens start getting rowdy in the trunk; idk what they are doing back there but they scared the shit out me.

                That is about it; made it to Mbarara safely if not comfortably, bought food, checked the post office (still no letters, for those of you that said you sent them), and headed back to sit.  Oo Uganda never a boring travel day here.

Ooo Uganda!

I figure it is about time for a new blog post (because I know you are all eagerly awaiting to hear about my life).  New developments:

I got robbed, which is super annoying, but for some reason not at all scary to me really.  It wasn’t a big confrontation or anything; I didn’t even know it had happened until I looked in my bag and oo shit my stuff is gone.  Oo well they are just things and that isn’t really enough to make me hate Uganda or anything.  Plus it could easily happen in the US (probably more violently) and I think most PCVs have gotten at least some things stolen from them.  More recently (a separate event) I did a TON of laundry: My own, Matt Murphy’s (I was doing Murph’s for him because we had been traveling, so he had no clean clothes and he did something to his back and could barely walk so he was staying at my house until he got cleared to go to Kampala for medical– I don’t need a smelly kid living at my house) and my bedspread.  Well lucky for me it rained shortly after I finished so these items did not dry that same day.  Not even thinking about it I left all my laundry outside overnight; hoping to soak up the most sun without having wake up early to re hang them all outside.  Usually this is not a problem; I live in a gated compound with people I work with – not too worried about them stealing my stuff.  Because of the sheer amount of laundry, I had to hang on of the sheets on a bush; this bush is the border between my compound and the outside world.  I wake up in the morning and EH! My blue sheet is gone! Everything else was there perfectly fine, but my Target bedsheet has been stolen.  Someone must have reached over the bush and grabbed it and ran off.  They better not let me see it; I will know it is mine. There are no Targets here, so one quick look at the tag and I will steal it back.  Also most Ugandan sheets have some kind of floral design on them – idk what it is but the sheets are flowered and many of the blankets look straight out of the 70s with the big flowers and terrible brown color.  Awesome. A plain blue sheet will stick out

Around this same time I also got pretty severely sunburnt.  We went to a pool for a bit (yes there are pools here…no water slides though) and I forgot my sunscreen.  Does this mean that I was extra cautious and stayed in the shade?  Nope.  Perhaps I borrowed some from the people I went with? Nope I am just not that logical I guess (Uganda rubbing off on me…) I just hang out all day under the equatorial sun letting my skin fry.  The result = probably the worst sunburn I have ever had (yes Nickie even worse than that time we were up north together and I was taking Accutane)…also did I mention my malaria meds make me more susceptible to sunburn?  All in all not the most genius thing I have done in my life.  No big deal; go home put on some aloe vera and call it a day.  Not a chance – I didn’t bring any with me (packing last minute strikes again!), PC Medical doesn’t provide it (Should they? Well as Andrew says “put a bunch of pale people on the equator and see what happens”), and since most Ugandans don’t know what sunburn is really they don’t sell it anywhere.  I spent that night rubbing cold water bottles over my body while we were out and trying to balance beer drinking with water drinking to prevent dehydration but still get drunk enough to not feel the pain of sunburn.  Actually though it was a good night.  Bone shaking to my heart’s content followed by 3am chili and caramel = always awesome.  That Monday I get back to site and all the Ugandans are like “Ah! Brittan! Your skin has changed color!”  Lucky for me this was the week the amazing nutritionist from Kenya came to visit.  She has her own company that uses natural products to make a variety of things, including skin care products.  She gave me some sweet oil to run on my sunburn and it helped quite a bit.  Although I did peel (which has never happened to me before) all over, the most painful being when the skin between my boobs peeled to a raw tender level that I complained about for days.  Ask anyone I talked to at All-vol; they probably heard about it.  Anyway lesson learned sunscreen may not be super necessary in Wisconsin (although should probably still put a base coat on during the summer), but at the equator I should probably throw some on before laying around in the sun all day.  

The Kenyan nutritionist was great! She was really outgoing and funny; I learned quite a bit.  Not always stuff I didn’t know, but often put into a context that is unfamiliar to me.  One of the things I was struggling with is how to transfer my nutrition knowledge from America to here.  Food, culture, and really everything is extremely different here.  You have the older generations trying to hold onto their foods and the younger generations adapting Western foods (but only the ones that are super terrible for you and typically they are not as good of quality).  These are two separate issues to be dealt with.  She also helped put into context how to apply nutrition to helping Numa succeed as a company—value adding to products and talking to people about nutrition under the title of Numa’s nutritionist.  This way I am getting the message out there and promoting Numa.  The last two nights she was here (right before All-Vol) we had dinner together.  First night was at my supervisors’ house.  They made us Ugandan food, but it was much better than the Ugandan food you will get in a restaurant.  My supervisor, who is always saying I don’t eat enough, got to see me eat seconds for once.  Those of you that know me back home will no doubt be shocked to hear I am not eating much --- well I tend to only eat a ton of food that actually tastes good.  You try matooke/posho and let me know how much of it you want to eat.  The next day they all came to my house and I made spaghetti with eggplant and peppers and other veggies.  My supervisor also thinks I don’t like meat.  Another shock to those of you back home? Well meat here is different.  It may be raised better than in America, but the way it is most often prepared makes it extremely chewy.  I don’t know what it is, some have said simply how the meat is raised is the difference.  That’s not true because I have had good meat in this country.  Maybe how they just chop it up arbitrarily rather than by parts of the animal (no different cuts of steak here folks!) is the problem.  I think it is probably just the way most of them cook it – many are still using charcoal/wood burning stoves with little to no control over the heat levels.  Plus most are scared that if they don’t cook stuff well enough they will kill the Muzungu (me), so it is often overcooked.  I’d rather get food poisoning that eat a well done steak any day (to calm my mother I am just not eating steak in this country instead of risking food poisoning) Anyway, surprisingly they all seemed to enjoy it! Not only did they say they liked it -- they ate it all.  Apparently my house is entertaining to them: one I have pictures of back home all over the wall, two I have certain things that Ugandans don’t know/think of around, three it’s just interesting to see how other cultures live. I probably would be more interested in Ugandan houses had I not lived in one for a month and explored many others during that time.   We had a great conversation about yoga stemming from my yoga mat being out that led to a suggestion of Numa-wide yoga sessions and ended with the Kenyan professor in her white pant suit doing sit ups on my floor.  They were also pretty impressed with my chalkboard I painted on the wall and my use of a conga (usually a wrap for after showering) for decoration.  Schools here just use chalkboard paint to make boards in their classrooms so you can buy the paint anywhere.  They thought I was very creative (when in fact I stole that idea from Tara).

Other than that not too much new has been happening.  Just working during the week – trying to establish what exactly I am supposed to be doing.  Wandering around town after work to make myself known – although the guys near my house have started calling me Celine Dion; maybe I should just tell them my real name.  Everyone else still calls me Muzungu – I’m too lazy to correct them and it really doesn’t bother me that much.  My supervisor is extremely nice --- although sometimes a little too eager and expects a little too much from me.  Contrary to popular belief, I’m trying to get the idea across that Americans do not know everything and everything white people do is not necessarily correct/good.  Maybe a bit of an exaggeration, but sometimes I think technology here isn’t always a good thing.  They seem to adopt American ways/technology readily without understanding how/why they are doing it.  Sometimes this is fine and works out well, but other times it is an expensive waste of time.  Some American ways of doing things simply do not work in Africa.  Also I am getting a kitten soon –name ideas? With love, from Africa -- Brittan