Monday, November 5, 2012

Cats are evil little idiots – observations from my first three days of kitten motherhood


Good thing cats are cute, especially kittens.  It is also a good thing they are so much more agile than puppies because mine gets thrown around a lot.  So whilst in Uganda I decided to get a kitten for a couple reasons:  1. Ugandans are not what you would call “dog people.” This is problematic in many ways.  It makes your neighbors fear to come near your house.  Now this could be a good thing if you don’t like or trust your neighbors, but if you want to stay amicable with them it could be an issue, especially if your neighbors live in the same compound type deal as you.  Also, many, not all Ugandans are not particularly nice to dogs they meet.  I saw a child throwing rocks at a puppy one day; it took all my strength not to throw rocks at the kid.  Most are not actively mean; dogs just don’t have a lot of use except as security in this country, they fear them.  Cats keep rats and other pests away, which also keeps disease away.  Lastly, in Peace Corps you travel quite a bit and typically with other PCVs.  This makes it difficult to find someone trustworthy to watch your dog in a manner acceptable to you.  2. I don’t think I could leave a dog in this country and it is not cheap to bring one back.  Now that I’ve been around this cat for a bit I can see myself getting attached and considering taking it back.  Even if that happens cats are cheaper to bring back.  Although I’m not sure how she’d adjust from growing up in Africa doing whatever she pleases to living in a small apartment in a city… Anyway she’d be much better off than a dog: she can fend for herself, more Ugandans are willing to take her, and cats don’t continually seek affection from humans in the sort of sick way dogs do.  If people are mean to her, she will stay away from people.  3. Cats are much less high maintenance.  Although this kitten is needy because she wants a lot of affection, she is perfectly fine being home by herself.  She already knows how to use a litter box AND she has already killed something to eat for herself.  If I am gone, Ugandans are willing to feed her and I can leave a bowl of food and water out with the window open and she’s good to go.   4. I want something to keep me company during the week when I’m alone and I’m home often enough.
                So for the above reasons and probably more, I now have a kitten: Luna.  She is very cute; however she obviously knows that she is cute, which is a little annoying.  She frequently flaunts her cuteness and uses it to get her things like milk and a warm lap.  This afternoon she curled up on my shoulder while I was reading; how friggin’ adorable is that! As I type she is laying in my lap, making this more difficult to write, but she is just so damn cute I cannot move her.   She is also easily amused.  Things I have seen her play with thus far: crumpled up piece of paper (thanks for the suggestion Murph), string (stereotypical cat), 2 noodles from my pasta, piece of debris on my couch/chair, the neck pillow from the airplane ride here, her own tail, toilet paper tube, some ants, my feet/hands, etc… I think you get the picture. 
Cats are also selfish jerks, which is why they are lucky they are cute.  For instance before she cuddles with me, which I love, she marches all over my body to ensure the most comfortable spot.  This wouldn’t be so bad except sometimes she uses her claws which doesn’t really hurt, but gives me the feeling she is tenderizing my meat.  I know what she is thinking “If you were smaller I’d eat you, but I cannot so you will do as a heater.”  She also sleeps when I’m awake and runs around like a mad person when I’m sleeping; I suppose she thinks I should adjust to her schedule.  I’m attempting to play with her more often before I make dinner so she is tired out by bed.  She also climbs all over me no matter what I am doing.  Before she fell asleep in probably the most inconvenient spot possible, she climbed up and around my shoulders, onto my computer multiple times, into my hood, and proceeded to settle in my lap to try to eat my scarf.  Lastly, she does not listen at all.  I know she is capable because when she wants to she will.   However, if she wants to ooo say chew on my purse no amount of grabbing her by the neck scruff, or saying no, or pushing her away from it can stop her.  I now hide my purse.   Overall though I’m happy I got her.  She is cuddly, adorable, and amuses me with how easily she is amused.  I’m actually kind of concerned at how much I already like her… All my suspicions about cats are confirmed, but I now see why one would have a cat.  Expect many pictures of my cat doing crazy things; if you send her something, I’ll take a picture of her with it for you! (she likes white cheddar cheese its she said)