Holy cow! It has officially been more than a year of my
Peace Corps service in Uganda. Everyone
says this is the hardest time for most volunteers and I have to agree. You feel like you have been here forever, but
that you still have a long way to go (although the countdown to COS conference
has begun: 7 months to go!). You feel
like you haven’t gotten as much done as you thought you might when you were
first applying, dreaming of saving the world (a feat I now know will take much
more than one girl at a food factory for 2 years.) You generally just feel tired of being on
display all of the time, people expecting so much out of you simply because you
are white, and in general constantly tired. We could also reflect on the number
of illness (mostly diarrhea based) I have had here compared to the US (maybe
one cold a year), but that would just be cruel. In addition to the regular MST problems, my
boyfriend who had become a source of sanity for me had to go back to the states
in May and even worse my Lunatic, my kitten died after a run in with some
dogs. Luna dying is the single worst
thing that happened to me in my service. Sure John leaving was very upsetting,
but he is still alive and in December we are going to Europe together and then
he is coming back here, so not too difficult.
Luna is gone for good.
However, I feel myself on the
upswing already as I prepare for another friend’s visit and another camp (my
last one I think). In the world of work,
I am also preparing for World Food Day, trying to come up with new products
while marketing the old, preparing for another project (hopefully!) to start
either right before I leave for Europe or right after. I find myself becoming more positive once
again and find myself going and staying at the office much more. So don’t worry people, it is getting better
again.
Some things I found out in my first
year of service:
1.
America is awesome. I used to complain all the time about
America, but now I feel like I am always going to go all out for the Fourth of
July. Yes, I am still aware that our
country has problems, but we are all most fortunate to have been born in the
United States. We have so many luxuries
and rights that we take for granted every day.
The knowledge that your food has passed some sort of standards
test. They have them here as well, but
it is not a requirement, just a recommendation.
Or the pedestrian right away OR having the same number of people as seat
belts in a car OR the general regard for safety and human life that we don’t
notice until it is taken away from us. For
example, a taxi driver speeding at 120 km/hr with about 10 people in his Toyota
when asked to slow down responds “Eh if Jesus means for us to die today, it
will happen.” It is this sort of
nonsense that makes me appreciate America.
Or how about appliances that have become so common we don’t even think
about them; refrigerators, washing machines, etc… are still uncommon luxury
items here (I don’t have any of them)
2.
Americans can be really cold. We do not talk to strangers, we do not greet
people or wish them a nice day, we do not strike up random conversations with
people on public transport. All of those
things are common here. In fact, you
would probably be considered quite rude if you did not greet people on the
street (something on that my worse days I have definitely done). A lot of the time, this can be annoying,
especially since it is amplified with calls of mzungu or my size or whatever
else. It can also be nice, like when
people are willing to go out of their way to help you or people are genuinely
just happy to see you for no reason at all.
3.
Americans should have to travel to the
developing world to graduate college. It
gives you a completely different perspective on yourself, your country, and the
world in general. It makes you think
about what really matters and what you can and cannot really live without (i.e.
you CAN live without running water or electricity, but you CANNOT live without
access to clean water of some kind). I
know I have both running water and electricity, but sometimes they are just
gone for days/weeks at a time. There is
no calling the water/electric companies because they cannot/will not do
anything about it. In addition, I’m
pretty sure my piped water is from a lake on top of a hill that my village set
up itself somehow. I keep being told
that National Water had nothing to do with it. So you wait until they come
back, prioritize what you need (drinking water) versus what you don’t (bathing
daily goes down the drain real quick), and just hope they come back sooner
rather than later. In many situations I
often find myself inquiring “What would happen if this occurred in America”
often the response is “uproar” where in Uganda we just wait…
4.
International
Aid is ridiculous. How the US gives out
aid is improving and Peace Corps is kind of on the right track in my opinion
(although their resources are very limited).
We should never be just giving things out, which is often exactly what
happens. Yes, there are extreme
circumstances such as war, genocide, refugee camps, etc…but Uganda does not fit
into those. Uganda and countries like it
should never be just given anything.
First, the government is so corrupt that any aid or money going to the
government almost never reaches the target populations. Second, years of handouts without
accountability has taught many people (*cough* cough* many men) that you don’t
have to work or do anything really to get by.
Food and clothes are freely given out, so why would you buy them. Why would you work? This is also furthered by the fact that the
weather here is wonderful (shelter is not a necessity as it would be in say
Mongolia) and everything grows in this region.
Handouts also can destroy local economies in that area. Why pay a tailor when the US or Europe is
sending free clothes? Again, this is
changing; I see a lot of people selling former US clothes now, which is a step
in the right direction (also a great way to find cheap clothing). Skills and
time in the places that need it most (the rural villages) are better forms of
aid. The Peace Corps is doing this, but
it is probably one of the least funded forms of aid. Instead, USAID, PEP-FAR, and all those
organizations just give crap out or start projects that are not feasible in the
village context. They would never know
because most NGO’s are based in Kampala and rarely travel to the very rural
areas. Many of these organizations are
beginning to move away from that and work with Peace Corps volunteers or hire
former PCVs on the ground for these initiatives, but it is still a
problem. People don’t feel responsible
for their own country anymore. My
organization is a great one to invest in: it is a business, but it has a
corporate social responsibility program (set up before I came!), it provides
work to many local women and youth directly, but also indirectly offers local
farmers a stable market for the produce.
Investment in organizations like mine that are dedicated to moving their
community forward would be money well spent.
Make my organization stable and profitable and they will change their
community themselves. They have already
started, but the effects can be (and are) growing. Third, our forms of aid are not even cost
effective. They are so caught up in
shipping, packaging, and other businesses that they are profitable for those
business, but at the expense of government money (aka taxpayers). Localizing aid and focusing on skills not
things would be much more cost effective and successful. Once again, big business takes money from the
little people… Fourth and finally, what happens when/if something big happens
in the western world. Do you think
Europe or the US is ever going to continue aid at the expense of its own
country? Absolutely Not! If it came down to it, the US would pull aid
out of these countries immediately. What
happens to them then? Well in the
current situation most of the middle class and country in general would
collapse. Not sustainable at all.
5.
Critical/creative thinking, question asking is a
luxury most cannot afford. The US
education system (especially higher education—Universities) is one of the best
in the world. Americans are critical and
question asking people. This is not
something we are born with, it is something we learned after years and years of
education, that encouraged us to be like that.
It is a great way to be. I feel
that many people in Uganda often accept anything that they are told because
they do not have that natural question in the back of their mind that Americans
do. “How do you know that? Where is the evidence? I want to see all of the evidence on this
topic myself and then I will make a decision”
This is fostered by our professors citing all of their facts for
everyone to see. We were asked our
opinion in school, but when your class size is 60+ no one cares about your
opinion, you just sit and listen and remember what you were told. There is simply no time for hands-on,
critical thinking activities. It seems
to get a bit better with university here, but still not where the US is. However, this means that as aid workers we
have a responsibility to be careful what we say. They will take what you say at face value and
they will rarely question you, meaning you have to tell them the truth. Sarcasm and subtly do not exist – there was
never time for such nonsense in schools here.
You are blunt (sometimes it almost feels rude/sassy, but you get over it
quickly) and you better say the correct thing.
A perfect example is the homosexuality issue that is raging in Uganda
right now. Why do many Ugandans believe
that homosexuals are fairies here to steal their children? Or that HIV/AIDS was created by homosexual
scientists in L.A. to destroy Africa? Or
that homosexuals deserve to die? Because
they were told that by white people (a specific, crazy group of white people
aka extreme evangelicals, but that is a different tangent). Be careful what you say, they will probably
believe it. This can also be seen in the
fact that they are reluctant to challenge the status quo, even if it is
ridiculous. I am always surprised that
more people don’t speak up and yell at the taxi drivers or stand up for
themselves in government issues. It requires a way of thinking that the US
fosters and Uganda cannot. I also can
chalk up to being so religious. If
Jesus/God is in control, what is the point of challenging it? Jesus or God will
take care of it, means that you don’t have to.
6.
Change happens slowly with many different
combined efforts. When I first joined
Peace Corps I was so excited to “change the world.” Sadly, this will take much more than one
24-year (almost 25 eek!) white girl at a food production factory. Change is a hard thing to make happen and it
requires stream lined efforts from many different areas of expertise. A year in, I celebrate the little
victories. The hygiene of the factory
has drastically improved and we have some new products with protein. Protein deficiency is a huge issue,
especially in my region of Uganda. I
have gotten some people to eat a little better or even a little earlier in the
day. (Seriously, many people eat a GIANT
carb filled meal at like 10/11p and go straight to sleep). I have gotten to stress how important the
nutrition of children and women is (usually men are the best fed and they need
it the least AND this country needs them the least in my opinion). I have
done the camps where at the end the kids show so much love and appreciation for
you that you forget how damn tired you are or how stressed you had been all
week. The little things make you happy
and the relationships you managed to build with people that are completely
different from you take on so much more meaning. Even my supervisor saying he plans to come to
my wedding (I am doubting he will make it) or when they say they missed me if I
haven’t been around for a bit makes all the difference now. The best example is how much they all cared
that Luna had died. First, they seemed
to love her, which as Matt Gomes said “means they love me.” Second, when she died they cared so
much. They buried her for me (I was not
allowed to as I can still produce children).
Edidah called me just to tell me that she was sorry and she would be
back the next day. Vincet offered to
refund the kitten I had given him earlier in the year. Robert offered to take
me to a pet store in Kampala. I came to
the office and people said they were sorry to hear about my friend. Even now, they are all on the lookout for a
new kitten for me. Reaching/Changing
even a few people and doing a few things for the better become your goal rather
than “changing the world.”
I think that is enough of my ranting for today my dears. I hope you enjoy my reflections a year
in. I feel like I could write a whole
book on my experiences in this country.
As much as I can sometimes bitch and complain about this country or
missing the US, this has really been an experience of a life time and I
wouldn’t trade it for anything (except maybe a site on a beach…haha)
